Living a life free of trials and tribulations will never happen, but that doesn’t mean we can’t strive to live on our own terms. Many things don’t go our way, and some situations are out of your hands. The way people treat you, however, is in your control. Being assertive and standing up for yourself is essential to living a happy life. Letting your boss, parents, spouse, or significant other walk all over you is simply not cool. No one should have to deal with attacks on their character either directly or indirectly.
If you’re in a situation like this, chances are it’s been like this for some time. The truth of the matter is that you teach people how to treat you, and somewhere along the way you inadvertently said its okay.
Maybe not with words, but your actions(or lack there of) and body language let them know that it wasn’t a problem. Shrugging away situations as no big deal can open a door for more of the same behavior. Whether it’s a co-worker taking your things or someone talking down to you this is where the snowball effect begins.
Being more assertive doesn’t have to be scary but it’s a must in order to be comfortable in your environment. Letting people know where you draw the line is okay. You have to stick up for yourself sometimes. Now, this doesn’t mean you have to throw down and fight in the octagon, but that you should be clear and concise.
There are right and wrong ways to do everything, often when dealing with people it gets even trickier. So when handling these situations you must be understanding yet firm. Here are the 3 ways you can stand up for yourself without being a jerk.
As humans we are inherently selfish, we often overlook things and what we say is usually a mirror of that notion. People may not realize that they have overstepped their bounds and being specific will snap them out of this trance. Using confident body language and conveying a clear message will help your cause. Compare these two responses.
#1 Uhh, well I don’t know how I feel about that.
#2 I don’t feel comfortable doing that.
They say the same information but their delivery is completely different. With number one there is some ambiguity on the issue while number two you know exactly how the person feels. Don’t let there be room for doubt if you have an issue with the situation let it be known. You can still get your point across while being polite at the same time.
Some situations cannot be avoided and coming to a compromise is the best solution. Use discerning judgment to reduce problematic issues while working with the individual. By doing this you can hash out the details so everyone can be happy. You don’t need to be so firm on a stance that makes you look like a whiner or worst unapproachable.
Unfortunately, not everything can be fixed. If you’re in such a spot sometimes the best thing to do is walk away. I know friends and family that have lingered in bad relationships and toxic work environments that have greatly impacted their lives. If you have tried working with the individual in question and nothing seems to change, the writing is on the wall. They have taken a hard perspective on this problem and there is no convincing them. The last thing you need to do is let their actions affect you in such a way that it takes away from your peace and happiness. Do what you can but when you’ve exhausted your resources just walk away.
You don’t have to fight or argue to let people know that stuff is bothering you. Address the problem with tact and you’ll find it more effective than any shouting match.
What are the ways you deal with problems? Did we miss something? Let us know in the comments below. 👇 We’d love to hear from you.